Shoulder to Shoulder

Not too long ago I overheard a conversation between two men in my church. They were talking about parenting and the attitudes of their teenage boys, and one man said something that really stuck with me. Though I cannot remember the entire conversation, I pondered the truth of what he said for a long time afterward. And as I pondered, a more complete thought started to take shape. This is my rendition of what that wise father said about parenting, but it really applies to all relationships. I chose to write it down because I wanted to never forget it.

"You can't get anything accomplished standing 'toe to toe' with someone, yelling in their face, and jabbing your finger in their shoulder. When your kids are young, you can tell them how to behave and if they don't do it, you can make them do it. But there comes a point when they grow to be as big, or bigger than you are, and standing 'toe to toe' just doesn't work no matter how you try it. They end up feeling like you think they're stupid, and they feel like you're bossing them around (because you are).  

But if you stand shoulder to shoulder... well, that's when you can really begin to influence someone. When you say 'Hey, I've been through this before. I know what you're feeling. This is what God has taught me...' it has a greater effect than getting in their face about their attitudes. When you're standing shoulder to shoulder with someone you're in the best position to wrap your arm around them and let them feel cared for. You're in the best position to point toward the horizon and show them where you're going. And because you're not standing in front of them, they can usually see clearer. They can see what they need most in that moment... what you've been pointing at all along... The Cross of Jesus Christ."